A New Reality
by chelz22
Summary: The impending holiday season offers many challenges for the newly reconfigured Pike family. Sequel to The Reality of the Situation. WIP
1. Prolouge

**Author's Note:** This story takes place after "The Reality of the Situation." As always, read, enjoy, and review.

The Pikes', and any other characters appearing in this story are the property of Ann. M. Martin and Scholastic Inc.

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Two and a half months after announcing their separation and impending divorce, Dee and John Pike were faced with a new reality. Even though the children may have said otherwise, they had made the right decision; albeit a tough one. However, just because something was right did not make it easier. Everyday that passed brought about another challenge for the newly reconfigured family, and though both Dee and John both did their best to meet these challenges, both together and separately, neither of them were sure that they were adequately. At best, they were floundering.

The hardest part, as any parent in this situation could tell you, was watching the children trying to adjust. Moving between household was not proving easy for any of them, especially as John's apartment only had two bedrooms, making it hard for more than one or two of the kids to be there at a time. Actually, the kids didn't visit as much as John and Dee had originally anticipated. Though the children had all bemoaned their large family on more than one occasion, the Pike family had always stuck together. Until now, that is. No one ever said it aloud, but Dee could tell that actually making the effort to go to their father's new residence made everything that had happened over the last few months seem real. She couldn't blame the kids for not wanting to admit that to themselves, but hated that they were avoiding their father because of it, and hoped that this would soon pass. John, on the other hand, was relieved, though he could hardly even admit it to himself. He knew that as a parent he wasn't much more than sufficient. He loved his children, of course, but he didn't really know how to do much more than that.

Despite everything that had changed in the last few months, so much had stayed the same. Mallory was still doing well at Riverbend Hall, and was in the middle of the college application process. Adam, Byron, and Jordan were involved in a sport for every season, and it looked like sports scholarships were a definite possibility. Vanessa remained lost in her writing, but was turning out some great articles for the school newspaper in the process. Nicky was eternally lost in the shadow of his siblings, while Margo continued to push herself in everyway to excel. Claire was clearly one of the most popular girls in the sixth grade, but her smile faded when she came home. Dee knew that she wasn't happy, but was at a loss for what to do. Eleven had been a hard year for Mallory as well.

As they were in the midst of so much that was changing, and so much that had stayed the same, the Pike's were about to be faced with a new challenge, though none of them had fully acknowledged it as of yet. Fall had come and gone, and winter was rapidly approaching. Winter, and the Christmas season.

One of the most wonderful things about holidays is that they help people realize and be thankful for everything they have. Of course, this often goes hand in hand with people realizing what they have lost.

The Pike's had long had a Christmas tradition of drawing each others names for a gift exchange. Dee didn't even know if she would try that this year. Christmas had already been hard enough last year, in the absence of Uncle Joe, who had passed away just over a year ago. Last year, it had been hard, but the Pike's had been together as a family.

What did that make them now?

At various times these past few months, both Dee and John had longed to call each other and talk about everything that they would each be missing out on. However, so far neither of them had made the first move yet. They talked about legal procedures, doctors bills, and the occasional issues that the children brought into their lives, but they didn't talk about their new and tenuous relationship and identity to each other. It would hurt too much.

Eventually, though, something had to be done. As had been the pattern of their marriage, Dee made the first move, and called John one night when the children were either out with friends, or upstairs and in for the night. As was also a theme of their marriage, John did not offer up many suggestions as to how to manage the Christmas season and their delicate new family situation, and after twenty minutes of essentially having a conversation with herself, Dee made a decision and hung up the phone. She would talk to the children casually, and try to get a feel for what they wanted to do. She had read in a book about divorce that it was that the children feel involved in any major discussions if they were old enough.

Dee knew her children well, but had to admit that as they were growing older they were becoming harder to gauge. Mallory was polite, of course, but always distant. The triplets had long grown any semblance of being identical, and were always distinct in their reactions. Vanessa withdrew into her writing, Margo into her school work, and Claire into herself. Nicky, of course, wanted whatever Byron wanted, which was generally a good thing. She tried to imagine what would make everyone feel the most comfortable, but was unable to come up with a solution that would please even the majority of the family. She had no protocal for this type of situation.

Though the separation could easily be called the most defining moment of the Pike family thus far, both Dee and John individually felt that how the first Christmas went would be very monumental as well. In any case, it would be very indicative of what the future had in store for them as a family, together, and apart.


	2. Mallory

In her dorm room at Riverbend, Mallory hung up the phone and climbed the ladder up into her loft, which was basically the only place that she had any privacy. She had just spent the last half hour on the phone with her mom, trying to figure out Christmas arrangements, which had been both a saddening and frustrating experience. They had never really had to figure out Christmas arrangements before.

Once secure in the semi safe seclusion of her loft, Mallory allowed herself to let her guard down. She had avoided coming home since her parents had separated; continually offering flimsy excuses that she was sure her mom saw right through. She had even spent Thanksgiving in Boston with her roommate's family. She knew that she was acting like a child in trying to avoid her family and the reality of the situation, but at the same time that was better than facing everything that was going on. She had always been the type of person who was apt to run away or avoid her problems. This was not something that she was proud of.

It was just that she had ceased to be a real member of her family since she had began to attend Riverbend. Prior to this, she had been an integral and essential part of the family, but as the years went on the physical distance had also become an emotional one. Mallory acknowledged that this was largely her own fault. Knowing this, it had become harder to come home for visits as the years went on, and that was when her family had been the same as it always had been. Sure, she had always felt slightly uncomfortable, but at least it was familiar. She had no idea what to expect of her home and family now, and frankly, she really didn't want to find out.

Mallory mostly wondered how her brothers and sisters were dealing with everything. Byron called her about once a week to fill her in on things at home. He had stepped up to fill her role when she had left for boarding school, and she had to admit that he had done a great job. He took care of the family as best he could, and he was the only one of her siblings that hadn't let her escape. Try as she might, and there were some times that she had, she couldn't escape his calls. She was probably the closest to Byron out of all her siblings, and that was mainly due to persistence on his part. Her heart went out to him; she knew from personal experience that it was almost impossible to be the mature and responsible child. He didn't tell her much, but she could tell that he was taking the separation really hard. He blamed himself, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone. She knew exactly how he felt, it was a large part of the reason that she had left. Even so, there wasn't anything that she could think of to say to him to make him feel any better.

It had been such a long time since she had felt at home in Stoneybrook. Mallory had spent her whole life looking for somewhere that she belonged. The closest she had come was when she was a member of the Babysitter's Club, which had been what had made her eleventh year bearable. Now she hadn't spoken to most of those girls in years, and she really had no desire to. She was comfortable, for the most part, at Riverbend, but even so, there was a distance between her and most of the other students. Everyone knew that she was here on a scholarship, and while most people didn't acknowledge this fact, it still made a difference and everyone knew it. The fact that her family had eight kids and a modest income prevented her from truly fitting in at Riverbend. That, and the wall that Mallory had erected around herself. However, it was easier for her to blame her family than her self, so she often did just that.

Sometimes she dreamed that everything would be better next year, when she went off to college. If everything went according to plan, she would be studying creative writing at New York University. Mallory imagined college to be the great equalizer: no one would care where she came from, how big her family was, or how much money her parents made. They wouldn't even care that her parents were divorced.

Ever since her parents had broken the news to all of the Pike siblings, Mallory had tried with great effort to convince herself that the separation and eventual divorce would not be a big deal. That's what she had told anyone who had asked how she was doing, and what she reminded herself of whenever the thought came to her mind. In fact, she had said it so much and so often, with such confidence, that she had almost started to believe it.

Then her mom called to talk about Christmas arrangements, and everything had fallen to pieces. If there was a need to make Christmas arrangements, then there would be a need to make similar arrangements for subsequent future events, like graduations, birthdays, holidays, and weddings. Mallory's mind was racing as she the many possible arrangements that would have to be made throughout the course of her life.

Nothing would ever be the same again.

Mallory really had been kidding herself to believe that nothing would change with the divorce. Everything was changing, and it hurt so much. It would be so easy to withdraw and distance herself from it, like she had been doing with everything that hurt over the past years. However, in the back of her mind, Mallory knew if she continued that pattern, eventually she wouldn't really have a family to come back to. At this point, Mallory had a promise to herself that she would reconnect, at least on some level, with each of her siblings while she was home for Christmas.


	3. Adam

Frustrated, Adam Pike funneled all of his concentration into dribbling a basketball, and making the shot into a hoop above the garage on the Pike's house on Slate Street. It didn't matter that he was on the hockey team, and that he hadn't played on a basketball team, much less utilized that hoop that his dad had put up since middle school. He just needed something to do other than _think_ of everything that was going on with his family and his life. He need to somehow escape, except he had no where to go.

It was just that the last two months had been so damn weird, with him and his siblings living at home with their mom, and then going over to visit his dad some nights in his new apartment. It's not like he was dumb; he knew that was going to happen when his parents got divorced, or separated, or whatever it was that they did. He just hadn't thought it would be this different. They had lived one way for all sixteen years of his life, and now his parents just went and changed that and expected everything to be okay. They didn't even give anyone time to adjust. It was almost as if they didn't care.

Okay, he took that back. They did care, and he knew that. His mom made it clear that she was open to talk if he ever needed to, which he appreciated; though he knew he would never take her up on it. And though his dad never really said anything, he always shook hand when he came to visit, and called Adam a "good man." That had to count for something.

He just never knew what to expect anymore. Like with Christmas. Somewhere in the back of his mind he had expected that his whole family, including both of his parents would be together, at least for a few hours. Sure, his parents didn't love each other anymore or whatever, but it's not like they hated each other or anything. He really hadn't thought it would be that much to ask. But then his mom had come into the room that he shared with his brothers, and asked them if they had any thoughts on how to celebrate Christmas. In other words, the whole family would not be together for the holiday. The whole family would never be together again for anything, as far as he could see.

Adam still didn't really know what he thought of the whole situation. At first he had been so mad that he could hardly contain himself. He wasn't really mad any more, as he could see clearly that this had been the right move for his parents. However, he could also tell from observing his siblings that it wasn't the right move for any of them. Byron was really taking it hard, probably more so than anyone. Adam kind of wished that he could do or say something to make him feel better, but that was usually the kind of thing that Byron himself did. He had really never given much thought to who would be there for Byron when the time came. Adam could also tell that Nicky, Margo, and Claire were really upset by everything that had happened by the way that they acted. They never said anything that would make them appear in any way changed. He had never really considered it before, but it must be really hard to be the youngest of such a large family.

Actually, being from a big family was hard, no matter where you found yourself in the birth order. For most of his life, Adam had liked the fact that the Pike family was ten members strong. Sure, it had been annoying to share the bathroom with so many people, but for the most part their size was a good thing. There was always something happening, and let's face it: with eight kids to keep track of, parental supervision is rather minimal. When they had been kids, and his parents had still been in love, things had really been great. Hoever, when he looked back and really thought about it, he could see the signs that maybe should have pointed out to him that things weren't as good as he thought they were. Somewhere along the line his parents had grown apart, Jordan had grown angry, and Margo and Claire had withdrawn into themselves. Somewhere along the line, his siblings had grown past being able to confide in each other, and now all of them were out on there own, trying to figure things out. As far as he could tell, it wasn't working for anyone.

Finally, Adam set down the basketball, and sat down on the front porch. It wasn't until he sat down that he realized how cold it had become. Winter, like Christmas, had crept up on the Pike family. It seemed that everything that had happened lately had been unexpected by Adam and all of his siblings. At this point, Adam hated nothing more in life than surprises. He resolved that starting now he would make things happen, instead of the other way around.

First of all, he would start with his mom. He didn't want to do anything too sappy, but he figured he could get her a flower or a candle or something to show her that he cared about her. And maybe he could go to a basketball game with his dad. He smiled, remembering the games that they had played together every nigh with his brotherst when the basketball hoop had been a new thing.

As for his siblings, he wasn't really sure what to do. Again, that was really more of Byron's thing. But when he thought about it, it didn't really have to be. There was nothing that he could do to save his parents marriage, but he could do something to help out his siblings. Sometimes, in families, the best thing to have is each other.


	4. Byron

Byron Pike was so incredibly tired. He could easily say that the last two months had been the longest of his life, and that was even considering the decade that had been his tenth year. Byron was the oldest brother, and had taken that role very seriously his whole life, especially after Mallory went away to boarding school. As a result of this, he had always felt an overwhelming responsibility to his family. This was a responsibility that he both enjoyed and cherished; he had always felt a sense of pride in being there for his siblings and parents. He loved being a part of the Pike family. That's how it had been until about two months ago, anyway, when his parents had announced that they were separating, and would be obtaining an official divorce shortly thereafter.

He hadn't ever dared to say it out loud, but this had kind of hurt himself personally. Actually, it had hurt him in ways that he couldn't explain. Even though his parents had repeatedly stressed that the kids had nothing to do with their relationship or this decision, he couldn't help feeling like he hadn't tried hard enough. When he had finally gotten over the fact that he couldn't save his parents relationship, he had instead vowed that he would do everything in his power to help his siblings into the new stage of their family life. However, it didn't seem like he was doing a very good job at this either. The more he tried to be there for his siblings, the less they seemed to need him. Except for Nicky, of course, who was constantly at his side, clamoring for attention. It pained Byron in ways that he couldn't explain to watch Margo and Claire escape deeper into themselves and their own problems, rebuffing his efforts to help.

Right now, Byron felt more discouraged than anything. It seemed like nothing he could do could help his family. This was further reinforced when his mom had asked if he had any opinion on what the family would do for Christmas. He suspected that not being together with all of his siblings and both of his parents for the holiday would be worse than the initial weeks of the separation; holidays were made for families to spend time together.

The way he saw it, even in the best possible scenario, both of his parents would be spending some time alone on Christmas, even if he himself was always with one of his parents and his siblings. In the worst scenario, he and his siblings would split up. He hated the thought of that; it was bad enough that he hardly ever saw Mallory. Forget, presents, the only thing that he wanted this Christmas was for his family to be together.

Sometimes he would close his eyes and pretend that his family was the way it always used to be. Except that wasn't ideal either, as it hurt him to think that his parents had been unhappy together for any amount of time. Byron just wanted everyone in his family to be happy. Just being with his family was what made him happy, and he didn't understand why everyone else didn't feel that way. Mallory and Jordan just wanted to get out of Stoneybrook as fast as they can, and never look back. He could never do that. He had even thought about staying at home and going to Stoneybrook University for a few years, so he could help his mom with the younger kids. He didn't know what he wanted to study in college yet, so he figured it would be a good idea to explore his options. Also, it would be cheaper, which was something to consider. He knew his parents hardly had the money to send eight kids through college.

Still, it was hard to think that far into the future when he was so unsure about the present. How could he think about college when he didn't even know what they were doing at Christmas? He wanted to spend as much time with both of his parents, as to not hurt them, or to make them think that he preferred one over the other. He tried to spend at least two nights a week at his father's new apartment, and he was certainly over there more than any of his siblings. Well, except for Nicky, who came with him most nights. As much as he tried to feel at home there, he didn't really. His dad worked late most nights, and there was something really impersonal about sleeping on a futon in your father's guest room. He mostly went there to keep his dad company. He preferred to be at home with everyone else, though he would never tell that to his father.

Right now was one of those times where he really had no idea of what to do. He couldn't go back into the past and prevent anything, nor was he too sure of his ability to make a difference in the current situation. Sometimes he felt so discouraged that he just wanted to remove himself from the situation completely, to do anything so that he could stop thinking about what a mess everything had become. Only his underlying and unwavering love for his family kept him from doing this. Besides, the Pike family stuck together, end of story. And Byron knew that despite everything that had happened in the past two months, and the different directions that he and his parents and siblings would take in the future, this would prove true above all else. The way he saw things, they really didn't have a choice.


	5. Jordan

Jordan sat alone in the Pike's rec room, staring at whatever program was on the television. He could care less what he was watching, he was just happy that he was alone for once. Privacy is a hard thing to come by when you have seven siblings; that was one thing that he was sure that all of the Pike kids could agree on. It might actually be the only thing. It's not like it really mattered though. As far as he was concerned, besides Vanessa, his brothers and sisters were a waste of space. He was counting the days until he could get out of the house.

Until then, he had to grin and bear it. Or at least grin while exchanging sarcastic commentary with Vanessa. The most annoying part of his life, aside from his family, was the fact that he had to find ways to rebel while still keeping his grades and good kid image up, as to not jeopardize the sports scholarship he needed to get out of this house and town. His parents splitting up had actually made this easier, which was the best thing that they had done for him in years.

Now all of his siblings were freaking out because plans needed to be made for Christmas. At least that's what he assumed that what everyone was doing. His mom had tried to talk to everyone about it, and everyone had subsequently become upset for whatever reason. Jordan personally didn't care, as long as he received his presents. For a brief moment he wondered if perhaps he would receive more presents as a result of the situation, but reasoned that that was not very likely. His parents hated spending money on the kids like that, which was just another thing that sucked about having such a big family.

It wasn't like he was heartless or anything, but in his opinion the last few months hadn't been all that different from the rest of his life. Yeah, his dad lived a few miles away in a pathetic apartment, but it's not like he was ever home that much anyway. Jordan had only been over to his new apartment a few times. The first time, he made the mistake of going over on the same night as Byron and Nicky. He would not be doing that again. The next few times he had gone over with Vanessa, and they had spent the nights ordering take out with and charging it onto a credit card they found in their dad's bedroom. It was funny how any thoughts of guilt had faded away when they realized that they wouldn't be around when their dad received the bill.

So maybe he wasn't being totally honest. Even though things hadn't really changed that much, it sucked a little bit that his parents had split up. Not for him, personally, but he felt bad for his parents. After all, they had been married practically forever, and he could tell how much his mom was hurting in little ways, like that way that she stared absently at the family portrait that was hanging up in the living room when she though that no one was watching. Also, he knew that some of his siblings weren't handling it that well. Byron was practically torn to pieces over the whole situation, which he didn't really understand. Jordan didn't feel sorry for him, or Nicky either, who was practically Byron's clone. He did feel bad for Margo and Claire, though. Those two hadn't been doing well before the separation. Now they just had more reason to isolate themselves in their room.

Sometimes Jordan wondered if things could have turned out differently for his family. He wasn't just talking about his parents marriage, but everything. He wasn't really that happy with the way that things had turned out, nor was he that happy in general. As far as he knew, the majority of his siblings weren't either. That was another thing. As much as he hated to admit it, he had had a truly happy childhood; there had always been something going on in the Pike house, and his brothers and sisters had been the only friends he needed. Now all of the siblings had splintered off from each other; they were together under one roof and family name, but no longer in heart or spirit. Every once in awhile, Jordan toned down the cynicism and thought about this, but quickly stopped because it hurt so damn much. It was a vicious cycle.

Even though he really did wish that the situation was different, Jordan didn't really think that there was anything he could do about it. Bryon had taken it upon himself save the family anyway, and it didn't look like things were going to well for him. He didn't really want to respond like Adam either, which basically entailed smashing the hell out of whatever thing was in his path. He was currently outside playing basketball, for whatever reason, but Jordan knew that wasn't going to last. The residents of Slate Street had better watch out tonight. No, Jordan didn't want to act like either of his brothers. As usual, he did whatever he could to give himself some identity and break away from the triplet image. He responded to this, and everything else for that matter, by withdrawing from the situation. Maybe this wasn't the best way to approach things, but it worked from him. Also, it helped his image. There were many girls at Stoneybrook High who thought he was cool, calm, and collected, and not at all like his brothers. He intended to keep it that way.

Admittedly, Jordan had no idea what was in store for the Pike family, be it over the holidays or the next ten years. As much as this hurt him, it also didn't. He wouldn't let it.


	6. Vanessa

Vanessa Pike sat in the living room writing in her journal. Nicky and Claire were watching something on television, but they didn't pay her any attention. She used to be intensely private about her musings, and made extra effort to hide her journal, even after Mallory had moved out of the house to attend school in New Hampshire. However, she had eventually realized that there was no need for her to be so secretive; her brothers and sisters were all so invested in themselves, with the exception of Byron, that they didn't have much energy to expend on getting involved in each other's lives. Besides, her siblings never forgave her for the year that she talked incessantly in rhyme, and as a result, generally thought that she was boring, citing her articles published in the schools news paper as proof. She sometimes admitted to herself that they were mostly right.

It used to bother her that the Pike kids were no longer the cohesive group that friends and neighbors undoubtedly still thought of them as. It became clear that they were never going to be like that again once her parents announced that they were separating and were going to get divorced. At that point, every one had stopped pretending that things would ever be any different.

And that was basically why she was so upset that her mom was making a big deal out of what they were doing for Christmas. Seriously, who cared? It's not like they would ever be a family again, no matter who they spend the holiday with. This is what she wrote about for pages on end in her diary. She knew that she was becoming more cynical, which was something that she attributed to spending so much time with Jordan. She smiled when she thought of how ironic it was that she was the closest to Jordan of all her siblings; no one who had seen them when they were nine and ten respectively would have ever predicted that.

Maybe spending so much time with Jordan made her more cynical, but he had also kind of saved her. She had been so lost after Mallory left, and had spent even more time writing in her journal than she did now, if any one could even believe that. One night when she was eleven he had literally dragged her out of the house, and they had shared a cigarette behind Polly's Fine Candy. She had hated it, and he had laughed, but it didn't matter. That night had cemented their friendship in a way that the rest of their family failed to understand.

And okay, so maybe she wasn't as cynical as she pretended to be. There were some things that she didn't admit, even to Jordan. She hated that fact that her family was so disjointed, and she hated the fact that she couldn't do anything about it even more. She hated the fact that Mallory hadn't been part of their family for years, and that Adam was so angry, that Byron had taken it upon himself to save them all, and that Jordan was mad at the world. She hated it that Nicky didn't fit in, and Margo made herself miserable, and that Claire was just so sad. And most of all she hated it that her father was living all by himself, and actually seemed sort of relieved, and that her mom was working as hard as she could to take care of everyone and everything, but was ignoring herself in the process. She hated being fifteen, timid, and unable to make a difference in any way that mattered.

It was much easier to write in her journals, withdraw from everyone except for Jordan, and pretend to be a cynic. So that is what she did. She didn't really think that any one knew the difference any way. The Pike family never did have many rules, and as long as the kids were making good grades they were left to their own devices. She sometimes thought that her mom saw through her façade, but she never asked about it, and Vanessa couldn't blame her. Nicky, Margo, and Claire were practically falling apart, and her mom had her hands full just trying to keep them together, and keep tabs on the rest of the family. Eight kids was just too many for one parent, or even one set of parents, to keep track of. Inevitably, some of them had to fall through the cracks.

In her heart she wished that her entire family would be together for Christmas, including Great Uncle Joe, who had passed away a while ago. She let this image play out in her head, to the point where the family had resumed the tradition of drawing each other's name for Secret Santa. She knew that her mom really would try to capture some of the magic of this Christmas' of her childhood, but no matter what she did, it just wouldn't be the same. And because of that, Vanessa didn't even want to have any sort of Christmas. Invariably, she would be let down. Knowing this, she did everything she could to not let herself get her hopes up.

Raising her eyes and pen from the tattered notebook, Vanessa noticed that the television had been shut off, and her siblings had left the room, leaving her alone. They really were all living separate lives.

It wasn't the worst thing that they were all living separate lives. It was okay, after all, to let yourself go, as long as you let yourself come back. Maybe if her family could find someway to make it through Christmas truly _together,_ at least for a little while, things would be okay. And as much as she hated to hope and be let down, a little part of her did anyway.


	7. Nicky

Sometimes Nicky Pike just couldn't understand how he could feel so out of place in his own family. Things had just gotten worse since his parents had separated a few months ago. Even though he didn't like to admit it, he had thought that maybe his parents separating would somehow bring the family closer together. That obviously wasn't the case. Now he had two homes that he felt out of place in, instead of one.

Nothing had really changed at his normal home. Or maybe he should say, his mom's house. That was how divorced kids talked. At home, at least, things felt normal, even if they didn't always feel good. Staying at his dad's alone, or with one or two of his siblings, he realized how little their dad knew about any of them. They mostly made polite conversation, but even that was strained, at best. But his dad did work a lot, so even when they stayed over they didn't see too much of him. His dad gave them all a key to the apartment, and he always had tv dinners in the freezer.

He knew that his mom wouldn't like it if she knew that his dad sometimes worked really late on the nights that they stayed with him, so no one told her. They hadn't officially talked about it, but everyone knew what to say when she asked them questions. None of the kids wanted their mom to feel any worse than she already did, even the ones that were mad at her. His mom didn't think that anyone knew, but he could hear her crying herself to sleep at night.

The only good thing about his family was his brothers and sisters. They didn't always get along, but at least they had each other. Byron was the best, of course. That much hadn't changed. Byron was actually kind of a better dad than their own dad was. He knew that didn't make any sense, but it was true.

His mom wanted to know what he thought that the family should do for Christmas, but he didn't even know what to tell her. He didn't want anything to change, but he didn't want anything to be the way that it was before, either. He wasn't really that good at making up his mind. He preferred to just sit back and let things happen. Sometimes his teachers and the coaches of the school teams complained about this, and said that he should take more initiative. They said that they didn't expect this out of one of the Pike kids. He hated it when they said that. His siblings, especially the triplets were good at everything that they tried. He was never good at anything. Byron tried to tell him that it didn't matter, but it didn't really help that much.

Really, instead of trying to figure out how to make things work out for Christmas, he wished that his parents would try to find a way to make things work out all the time. Just the fact that they were separated and going to be getting a divorce acknowledged that things weren't working out in the first place. He wished that his parents would have tried just a little harder to make things work out. It seemed like they had just decided to call it quits instead of work on it. Maybe that's where he got it from.

The only good thing about his parents getting separated was that since it happened he had spent a lot more time with Claire. He knew that it really wasn't cool to like hanging out with your little sister, but Claire was different. She was so sad all the time, and it was the best feeling in the world if he could get her to smile or laugh. She said that he was her favorite of all of her brothers and sisters, and that she liked him more than she liked any of her friends at school. And that meant a lot, because Claire was one of the most popular girls in the sixth grade.

He and Claire were together a lot, because they went over to their dad's apartment more than anybody else. Well, Byron went a lot too, but he always had sports practice and homework to do, so mostly it was just himself and Claire. He liked to go to there because he could just be himself, and not a disappointment to everyone who had known Mallory, Vanessa, and the triplets. Claire liked to go because she liked to be as alone as possible. Claire had even asked if she could move in with their dad so that she could be alone, and Margo could have more space to do her homework, but their mom wouldn't let her.

If he could make everything the way that he wanted, all of his siblings, himself included, could just be themselves, and that would be okay. He didn't really care what they did for Christmas, just that everyone was happy. Deep inside, he knew that is what his parents wanted as well, and that they didn't know how to get it either. So instead, they gave up and were getting a divorce. He couldn't get a divorce from anyone, so he couldn't give up. That was pretty much a first for him.

Nick y didn't hate his family, like Jordan, but he didn't really love it, like Byron. As usual, he didn't really fit in anywhere. He really didn't care what they did for Christmas, or for any holiday afterwards. He just wanted to fit in somewhere.


	8. Margo

Margo sat on her bed, highlighter in hand, marking up her history notes in preparation for her test tomorrow. She had reread the chapter four times tonight, had made up flashcards of the important people, dates and events, and had attended an after school study group. Still, she wasn't sure that she was prepared for the test. She has a grasp on the material, sure, but did she know enough to get a perfect score?

She had been studying all evening, taking only a fifteen minute break to eat a sandwich and go to the bathroom. Also, her mom had interrupted her briefly to ask if she had any thoughts as to what the family would do for Christmas in light of recent events. The recent events being her parent's separation. Margo honestly had no opinion on the matter; she would simply go along with the rest of her siblings like she always did. It didn't really matter what they did anyway; her main plan for the entire Christmas break was to study as much as possible for the examinations that would be administered upon returning to school in January. She had to perform to the best of her abilities on these tests, as they would in part determine her placement in her high school classes for next year.

Her parents, or her mom anyway, were always asking her opinion on these type of things. It seemed like everyone was trying so hard to pretend that their family was really no different even though it was being ripped apart in a divorce. Margo didn't really care. She visited her dad's apartment occasionally, but it was really just another place to do her homework. She didn't have much in common with him anyway, and refused to spend the night because she liked to be in her own room, with everything arranged just so.

She really liked it when Claire would spend the night at their dad's apartment so she could actually have some piece and quiet. The rest of her siblings mostly left her alone, besides Byron, but Claire was always around. It was weird; Claire was easily the most popular girl in the sixth grade, but she rarely did anything with her classmates or friends outside of school. Margo knew that she wasn't happy, despite the fact that they had never really talked about it. Sometimes Margo tried to help Claire with her homework, thinking that getting good grades would help make her happy, but it never worked.

Margo was forever concerned with weather or not people were happy, even though she would never talk about this with anyone. Judging weather someone was happy or not was just something that she did. She knew that Mallory was happy, because she had been able to leave Stoneybrook to go to Riverbend Hall in New Hampshire. Adam was happy sometimes, and Byron had the potential to be happy, but rarely was, because he was only happy when everyone else in their family was happy as well, which was never. Jordan didn't have enough room inside of him to be happy, because he was so angry with everyone and everything. She wasn't sure about Vanessa who mostly kept to herself. She knew that Nicky couldn't be happy, because he was barely passing any of his classes. And of course she knew that Claire wasn't happy. Everyone knew that.

She wondered if her parent's were any happier now that they had become separated. She wasn't sure. Her dad seemed somewhat relived, if that counted, but she could tell that was because he didn't have to really ever deal with all of the kids at once anymore. She didn't think that her mom was happy with the way that things had turned out, but she didn't think that she had been very happy before, either. She pretended that she was, but sometimes, when Margo got up in the middle of the night to study, she could hear her crying.

Margo wasn't even really sure if she was happy. She generally measured her happiness by her grades: nothing was as satisfying as an "A" on a paper or a perfect score on a test. However, this quickly faded and she was left only with her almost constant feelings of inadequacy. If she wasn't happy, she wasn't sad either. She was somewhere in between, just trying to move through life without drawing any extra attention to herself.

She knew that her mom didn't think that she was happy. She didn't come right out and say it, of course, but she was always praising her for her grades and how well she did in school. She was always offering to make her an appointment to talk to a counselor as well. Her mom didn't understand that no matter what happened, as long as she was getting the highest scores possible, things would be okay. As long as her grades were perfect the world made sense and she was able to breathe. That's why she worked so hard on her schoolwork in the first place!

Aside from that, nothing ever really made her that happy. Sometimes Byron forced her out of her bedroom, and she had fun hanging out with her brothers and sisters. Her family really was fun, especially when they were all together. She just didn't have that much time to spend with them, because she always had so much work to do.

It wasn't just her; all of her brothers and sister's had something that they escaped into. Maybe this was how they all made themselves happy, when it was possible. Mallory had her boarding school, the triplets had sports, Vanessa had the school paper, and she had her schoolwork. Nicky and Claire didn't really have an escape, as far as she could tell. Claire especially, just retreated into herself.

Margo didn't really care where she was for Christmas, or which parent she spent it with. What she really wanted was for her entire family, herself included, to be happy, Even if it was only because they had each other.


End file.
